Pooping on the road – my travel experiences
Let me toss in a disclaimer here. These are my experiences. Frankly, talking to other travelers over the years they all seem to agree. Hopefully, some of the lower rated places have improved and those that were great have stayed that way.
For over 10 years I traveled for work.I stayed in some of the nicest hotels, also spent the night or 3 in some of the shittiest hotels. By shittiest I don’t mean something like a KOA campground where 50 dudes are trying to use one bathroom or Ma and Pa’s motor lodge.
Personally I like to get up early, most times I aim to get the earliest flight out of wherever I am leaving from. If you time it right you could actually have a pleasant shit in terminal C of Newark Airport. Not the first set of bathrooms after security though. I suggest you get closer to the food court or even the bathroom closest to the jersey diner. Anytime after 6:30 though – you are screwed. Same with nearly any terminal in Houston’s Bush airport. Not all airport bathrooms are created equally. I have had some excellent dumps in Denver and when it comes to taking the crown on the cleanest airport bathroom Omaha (which is actually in Iowa) takes the crown when I am crowning! Some of the dirtiest cans I have had to use have been in California. LAX, San Diego (although every single time I am there they are renovating), San Francisco’s delta terminal was always gross. NY’s Laguardia and JFK are just disgusting – every single terminal I have had to piss or shit in have just made me want to tie it off or plug it up to avoid going. Speaking of NY, a few times I flew out of Islip out on Long Island. Not the greatest but for a NY bathroom it was alright. More grossness can be found in Philthadelphia, I guess its all the cheese steaks blowing folks out before they board. I find most midwest airport bathrooms to be the cleanest. Green Bay, a really small airport not only sells cheese just before security but it also allows you to make some cheeze whiz in a pretty clean ass gasket provided environment. On a side note unrelated to poop although it will make you poop, if there is a tall well built man behind the bar/diner counter do not talk to him about Spotted Cow Beer. The dude will tell you the life story of this beer and you will feel so guilty if you don’t order one. Not all midwest commodes are clean across the board. Any one of the Chicago airport bathrooms will make you want to hold it. Seattle although I have only been there 5-6 times seemed to be a decent dumping ground. Crapping in Punta Cana was an experience. Nothing like taking a shit in 85+ degree 90% humidity weather. It is worth the walk over to the air conditioned part of the terminal. No amount of baby wipes can make you feel clean after you sweat in that heat and humidity. Some of my stops in Canada were awesome as well. For example, I had several trips in one year to Winnipeg. This small airport had some clean bowls, ass gaskets and (at the time) NO AUTO FLUSH! How many of you hate that feeling of the bowl flushing while you are on it. Even if the water doesn’t splash up on you, it still give you this sorta suction feeling. Not to mention you cant take a picture and post it on PostMyPoop.com.
Some of my best hotel dumps were in the Marriott Brand of hotels. I may have a bias, for years I have carried a high status at the Marriott hotels, a Marriott Rewards credit card and like many, I am a creature of habit. I never had a bad room at a JW. A great hotel to dump is the Intercontinental in Baltimore. One of my favorite hotels ever and frankly one of the best room bathrooms was the Hyatt Hill Country Resort just outside San Antonio. Not only are the bathrooms great they also have what was or maybe still is the longest copper bar (floors covered in peanut shells) in Texas AND a lazy river. The nicest hotels like the JW Marriott and Ritz Carlton’s all had great facilities. Even their lobby restrooms were (for the most part) great places to take a crap. For the price of entry we should expect nothing less.
Some of my worst hotel craps have been at Casino hotels. The DoubleTree in New Orleans (partner hotel of Harrahs), Caesars in Atlantic City (specifically the tower closest to the lobby), the other towers have nice bathrooms. The Claridge in AC is just god awful disgusting. The Rio in Vegas is just old and gross to begin with but the bathrooms are nothing I would call a “suite” bathroom. The bathrooms at Mandalay Bay, Paris and Caesars are really nice places to drop the deuce. One of the worst public casino bathrooms has to be the Hollywood Casino in Baton Rouge.
Sporting events I could go on for hours. I have been to at least a dozen ballparks, several football stadiums and at least a dozen horse tracks. I would not shit in any one of them. Notably; New and Old yankee stadium, Fenway, San Diego, Giants Stadium, NRG (where the Texans play), Baltimore (football and baseball), Wrigley, US Cellular, Comerica (detroit), Belmont Park, Churchill Downs, Evangeline Downs, Hawthorne Race Course (Chicago), The old Cowboys stadium was disgusting – havent been to the new one.
So the times you were traveling and you had to go, what would be some of your best and worst places to go?